The Infallable

 so i'm typing out a quit entry before i go to work this morning.  i'm getting kinda sick of working all the damn time.  not that i mind working i just hate being on call.  

i think i've said that before.  

so wifey is taking some college classes, she's a smrat one she is, and she says that the more i think about it and say things like, "i hate being on call," or "i can't sleep at night," then the more i will.  some kinda reinforcement.  i'm starting to believe it's true cuz a coupla years ago when i was on call all the time i didn't mind.  i actually liked working for the railroad then.  i think now i'm just getting sick of the crap.  

hey!  i gotta look at the bright side though.  at least i'm working during the day today.  maybe i'll get to work this job again tomorrow and actually make it to my one day a week off.  that sure would be nice.  i don't think it'll happen though.  i'll just get stuck in indianapolis.  

see there i'm doing it again!  thinking all negatively.  hmmm.  maybe i'll feel better when i learn the jobs.  i'm sure that's part of why i'm not happy with my situation.  it's rough not knowing the jobs that i'm supposed to be covering.  

oh well i gotta go now

 for starters i'm glad that it warmed up some.  as much as i love snow i love warmth a whole lot more.  no frost, no freezing, no worries.  that's the way i look at it.  

so my dumb back is healing nicely.  i got a little pad to put on my chairs and whatnot to keep my lower back curved the right way and not the way it has been bending since i can remember.  

i'm going back to work today too.  that isn't so fun though.  i don't like work but i sure do like making money.  

yeah.  money is cool.  i wish i had more of it.  

so i'm in a better mood today despite the fact that i have to work soon.  so i'm going to sit back down on the broke down old loveseat and watch office on dvd.  so that'll be fun.

 so why is it that people from the west coast thing that they are so much better than the rest of us? 

i  wish i could articulate the thoughts that are roaring through my mind right now.  that'd show all of 'em!

so.  i hurt my back.  again.  this time it was opening a bottle of wine.  how lame is that?  at least i didn't get it open and spilled it on mat's coat.  actually i'm  not too proud of that.  i feel bad cuz he has to look good for work.  

anyways.

so i've been off of work for two days and will be off for at least a third day.  i hope to get back to the grind tuesday and make myself some monies!  

also i shaved my beard today.  it was getting itchy anyways.  also i dramatically trimmed my goatee.  it's only half inch long now.  i hope i got it trimmed right though i think that the only way i'll ever like it is when it's super long.  like ten feet.  

not really.  

it is hard to make it look decent and not all shady.  i'm not going for the shady look after all.  i'm going for the "you fuck with me and i'll pull your lips off," look.  yeah.  that's what i want.

 i would say i am pretty tired but i feel good right now. 

today i went to the eye doc and she told me to try some different contacts.  the ones she gave me first off kinda sucked real bad and they got on my nerves.  so i'll see how these ones work out.  or don't.

so to bring up an old subject i am getting even closer to the chopping block at work.  more and more people are getting laid off and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight.  between this here depression and those fuckers ability to cut off job after job it's starting to get really scary at work.  in fact my friend miguel, doughboy, just got cut.  i feel particularly bad about that since i was kinda the reason he took this job in the first place.

i know it's not my fault he hired on but i still feel bad.  

not only do i feel bad but i'm starting to get really concerned now.  just when i thought i was going to be all right... sigh.

i thought the light at the end of the tunnel was the other end but it turned out to be oncoming traffic.  

here's hoping i have a job this time next week.

oh yeah and one more thing.  my birthday is coming up and the PNMF is still taking donations.  we are hoping that this year will be our best year ever so please give to the best charity i could ever be a part of.

 so i've been first out for like forty-eight hours.  my phone hasn't rung once.  i'm on pins and needles here.  i can't sleep cuz i can literally feel my heart pounding in my chest.  i don't know if i'm going to get called or not.  this is hell!  i fucking hate it here people.

so to alleviate my stress i've been watching the office on dvd.  the show is great.  

so last night me and wifey are watching office when out of nowhere there is this huge, house rattling, slam.  i'm like what the fuck.  there is no way the damn roof just caved in.  thankfully it didn't.  however i no damn clue what went on.  just sitting here minding my own business, and it was like midnight too, and the house just shakes.  

fucking crazy man.  

so on top of not sleeping i have a fucking poltergeist.  i'm not going to ever sleep again.  

no tv and no beer make homer something something.

 i woke up this morning at about 8:30 and watched the snow fall for a while.  then i went back to sleep.

i woke up later at about 1pm and decided that i was hungry.  sadly we had no milk.  if you know me and milk then you know that if i have no milk i basically can't eat.  so i had to shovel out the driveway.  in order to get to the driveway i had to shovel the front porch and then dig a path out to the garage.  then i opened the garage door and started shoveling.  i got about a sixth of the way through the drive when whattya know!  freakin wifey's cousin, who lives up the street and around the corner, comes over with his old tractor and goes to town on my driveway.  it was really nice of him.  

so i have a clean driveway and am actually able to come and go at my leisure.  

in other news i got contacts yesterday.  it was kinda perfect timing too.  today i was able to wear sunglasses and see at the same time.  that's a feat i haven't been able to do in a while.  i guess i like the contacts but they feel funny on my lower eyelid.  it almost feel like when i'm really tired and my eyelids are heavy.  it's strange.

yeah.  it's been a good kinda day i suppose.  too bad the threat of work is looming over me.  

fackin work.

 i've been looking online for people that can understand what i'm going through as a contract employee, aka union member, and i think i've just about given up hope.  seems to me that there are so few union members left that it's almost a lost cause.  the older guys, guys that worked with founders of some of these institutions, are retiring in droves and are being replaced, sadly, by gen xers.  i freakin' can't even stand people from generation x.  they are some of the most apathetic and spineless wimps i've ever met.  

people with attitudes the likes of which i can't even comprehend.

so here i sit typing away on my only day off enjoying a cold one and listening to the furnace run and i can't help but wonder, 'what the hell is wrong with america these days?' 

recession, bailout, lay offs, foreclosures, shrinking middle class, wage disparities.  sigh.  it's enough to bring anyone down if ya ask me.  i've also found myself wanting to get in better shape.  another freakin' blow to my esteem.  i'm telling you with wifey laid off and the cold and snow not really making a hasty retreat this is turning into one of the most melancholy winters i can ever remember.  

sure there's rock band to be played and i have a pretty tight knit group of friends but lately i've been wondering what it would be like if i got something that i wanted.  a selfish thought to be sure but man i'm getting sick of doing so many things for other people and getting so little in return.  

is a puzzlement.

to quote "the king and i"  

oh yeah and the fact that my old man had a heart attack two weeks ago is just plain fubar.  i know it's tough on him and my mother but what the hell are we kids supposed to do?  that's another reason i think i need to work out btw.  anyways, mortality has always been a rough subject for me and since i am so out of touch with my beliefs it's harder than ever to cope.  

at least they still make beer that tastes good no matter what.  you know what i'm sayin?

 did i ever tell you people that i freakin' love snow?  i mean i really do.  there is nothing, at least not yet, that can make me change my mind about this creamy white stuff.  

so, i just found out that there is a beagle rescue center in london.  it was a totally random event that lead me and ma wife to decide we wanted a beagle, blue tick to be exact, and it was just as random to find a rescue center in london.  there i was googling blue tick and it was like the fourth or fifth on the results page.  i was pleased.  

so i guess the people need to come out and see if we are beagle friendly and then we will decide on whether or not to get the little muttly. 

i want to wait until spring cuz i don't wanna house train a dogbreath in the coldy, snowy stuff.

i guess i found something that makes me not like the snow so much after all.

so. i have a new rant about an old subject.

ps3 vs xbox 360 which is better and why.

now let's start with some ground rules. wii is for kids and mothers so fuck it. all other consoles before aren't what i'm talking about so deal with it. finally, i'm not talking upgrades and add ons just the systems.

now we'll start with ps3. it has blu ray technology and can run your entire home entertainment system. also from what i've been told you can somehow hook it up to your pc and do neat things with it. what those neat things are must be irrelevant because the three people i know with one don't use it for anything more than gaming and movies. also ps3 has free internet gaming. as long as you are online you can play for free against your friends, or enemies.

xbox on the other hand has dvd tech, which is funny cuz i didn't know about that until recently. the xbox can be used as some kind of storage device for multimedia thingies as long as you run a windows os you can link to your home computer for fun times. with xbox live you get tons of gaming options as well as free trial games. also free cheapie games like my all time favorite "worms." xbox live offers netflix, chat, and leaderboards, which are also available on ps3 only tremendously different.

now that being said. why ps3 sucks my ass.

last night i was all ready to play some first person shooter fun with schwagarney. alas, this was thwarted by a two hour long update that was mandatory. last time he updated he said his system acted weird. last time i updated i got a new os and more features on xbox live. and really there was no point in playing cuz i'm sure that we would have been forced off the game by "network error"s. this happed about two out of every three logins.

which is awesome.

the biggest reason ps3 can suck it is that the damn console can't even recognize it's own controllers. on three seperate occasions the last two times, yes folks three out of two, we had to turn off the console and all the controllers to play rockband because for some fuck off reason the poor little wannabe can't understand that there are four controllers turned on.

wireless or not i've never had a problem with four players on xbox. just turn on the conrtoller and the console recognizes it.

the first time.

every time.

so i will gladly pay for my better xbox live with it's more features. oh yeah! don't forget being able to upgrade the hard drive and i have an option of a cheaper non hd system or the more expensive hd system. both of which are cheaper than the only model that ps3 has.

hmmm.

sounds to me that ps3 is just a noisy paper weight.

oh well. i'll still play it. i just don't have to like it.

-pw

i've given up on myspace for my blogging needs.  moving here where.


da da daaaaa!

they still recognize the return key.   and here i was thinking that in was my keyboard.  i should have realized that my computer couldn't have been at fault.  

so when i have things to gripe about they are going to be here and not on dumbspacedotcom.

-pw

 as most of you know i hate this fucking country.  a land for the rich by the rich and i'm about sick of it.  i got my last paycheck of the year today and it's embarrassing.  i am actually making less now that i was in 2006.  a thousand dollars less to be exact.  

how is it that i got like a 12% raise this year and be taking home thousands of dollars less this year than last?   it's a fucked up state of affairs i gotta be honest with ya.  and the worst part is i'm making less and they are taking out more!  what the fuck!?!  

my union dues are going, they raised my insurance by nearly a hundred dollars a month, and the government is telling us that we need to make concessions to the company cuz we earn to much.

fuck them.  i hate rich people.  

yeah, you could say i'm prejudice but i don't really give a flying fuck.  

rich manipulative shit heads are the reason i'm struggling to keep a job this year.

there is nothing i can do though.  just give in to the fact that nothing can be done.  

 why go to a job if you don't want to work?

this applies to everyone, now.  

 after getting fed up with myspace's antics i have come over the the lj side of things.  

i have known about lj since my college days but just never thought i'd like just writing my thoughts and feelings down for everyone to read.  it turns out i relish the opportunity to dole out my opinion.

deal with it.